It’s my birthday..

and early last week, I had this post completely written out in my head.

I was going to thank these two people for making me the person that I am.

For loving me even when I wasn’t very lovable.  For raising me and spoiling me.

For making sure I never second guessed how much they loved me.

But Thursday changed everything.  Everyone talks about Friday the 13th.

Well let me tell you, there is nothing more terrifying than Thursday the 12th.

Yesterday, I attended my little cousin’s funeral and I watched him be lowered into the ground.

He was 16 and he loved life.

Today, I know I should just be thankful for another day but I’d be lying if I said this was okay.

I am thankful, but my heart is broken and celebrating anything is the last thing on my mind.

I’ve never felt a pain  like this before.  The last 16 years with him flashes before my eyes in an instant and I see him little, sitting in front of the TV, drinking his chocolate milk, and eating breakfast.  He loved cartoons when he was little and he lived off of chocolate milk and hot dogs.  He and his sister, Brianna, always teamed up on me.  I don’t think I EVER saw them fight- they were always a team.  Always.

This photo was taken at my wedding in 2008.  And this little smile is exactly how I will always remember him.

Until I see him again.

Kolby Jason Clayton

August 10, 1995 – April 12, 2012

Please keep our family in your thoughts and prayers.


If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing via bloglovin'.


  1. No words could ever take away the pain of losing a family member or anyone much too soon before their time. Our thoughts go out to you during this very trying time…celebration is part of healing.

    • Cole white says:

      I remember kolby i didnt hang around him a whole lot but i remember we took gymnastics together me and him would always do front flips and see who could do the mot i also remember hanging around him at the crossville pool a few times he was awsome guy RIP old friend

  2. Hugs!! I hope you had some joy … even if it was a smile from your beautiful kids today to give you hope. Many prayers for you and your family!

  3. I am so sorry his life was cut short- condolences to you and your family…

  4. I’m so sorry for your loss. Will definitely keep you and your whole family in our daily prayers. I hope that you find comfort in God’s embrace and that time helps ease your pain.

  5. hugs and prayers!!!!

  6. Whitney, I am so so so sorry for the loss your family has suffered. We love you!

  7. I’m so so so sorry for your loss

  8. heather benjamin says:

    i wanted to tell you that even though i dont know you i am very very sorry for your loss. i relate to how you feel. 2 years ago i lost my 6 month old niece and it has taken me a long time to just accept it. its horrible what your family is going thrue and i just wanted to say im sorry.

  9. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, I’m so sorry for your loss!


  1. […] weeks ago, the thought of a balloon release had never crossed my mind.   Losing you at 16 hadn’t either.  Now, both of those things are my reality.  A harsh reality, but one that we […]

  2. […] year old Kolby left this earth for his Heavenly home.  Kolby was laid to rest the day before my birthday.  One week after his death, Crossville High School held a balloon release in memory of Kolby.  We […]

Speak Your Mind