Permission to Grieve

It’s been a beautiful weekend. We’ve spent it at home with Justin, his dad, and our neighbor working on roofing our new porch. I’ve felt an ache this weekend though I haven’t given into it fully. The song says “Sometimes I wonder who you’d be today.” It’s a beautiful song. I relate that song to […]

Favorite Things Friday

Two posts in one month.  That may be a sign of my improved moods and overall health!  I have been sleeping for a little over a month now with no insomnia.  That is HUGE after 2 years of not being able to sleep.  Favorite Things Friday is an easy way to me to get back […]

A New Sweet Season

On Mother’s Day six years ago, I woke up and peed on a stick.  Justin and I quickly learned that baby #2 was on the way and that we mostly just have to look at one another and say “let’s have a baby” and we are pregnant.  I don’t take that for granted but I […]

Favorite Things Friday

In an effort to get back to blogging I thought it would be fun to share a few things I’m enjoying lately.  For the longest I rarely bought myself anything.  Any time I shopped, I did so with my children in mind and never focused on me.  Over the last several months I’ve made a […]

Through All of It

I open my dashboard and stare at the blank screen. Then I close it. The process repeats every few weeks. Writing has always been “it” for me.  I’ve kept some kind of journal for as long as I can remember.  I wrote online before “blog” was even a word.  But now it’s hard not to […]

Brynlee’s 2nd Trach-iversary // Pierre Robin Sequence

Today is Brynlee’s trach-iversary. On this day two years ago, I tearfully handed our 9 day old daughter over to the anesthesiology team and watched them wheel her out of the NICU toward the OR. I knew when I saw her again she would have a tracheotomy and a g-tube. That would be the first […]

Two Years // Part Three – Closure

February 2015- you were no longer trached and you were no longer tube fed. Wow! I found myself with a lot of extra time on my hands and what should have been a lot less stress. Instead, I finally began what would be the hardest part (mentally) of my medical mama/ cancer loss grief journey. […]

Two Years // Part Two – Sudden Decannulation

Your second year got off to a great start. We said goodbye to tube feeds- we kept the tube for a few months just in case you lost weight. Thankfully that didn’t happen. We celebrated your second Christmas which was your first at home. My heart ached for you when you spent that first Christmas […]

Two Years // Part One

Two years. I can’t think about it without feeling a sense of overwhelming joy. Tears cloud my eyes. Not because you are turning two or because you are growing up on us, but simply because you are here. You are here with us. You are happy and healthy. You can breathe and eat without help […]

on my bookshelf // July 2015

At the beginning of the year I set a goal to read 12 books during 2015.  Since having kids, I’ve rarely read books even though it is something I enjoy.  I’ve already surpassed my yearly goal and have almost 100 books on my Amazon wishlist that I can’t wait to dig into in the future.  […]