My Facebook feed is filled today with everyone starting their daily thanks as a way to celebrate Thanksgiving during the month of November. It’s simple- just list something/ someone/ anything you are thankful for each day. I’m going to challenge myself to post mine here on the blog, which means I’ll post every. single. day. during November. I’ll still publish regular posts too, so you may see more than one post each day.
It’s probably no surprise that I chose to begin with my husband. I loved him since I was 15 years old, but this year has brought something completely different to our relationship. Justin isn’t much of a talker- he’s a very go with the flow type person and like a lot of men, he doesn’t share his feelings too often. After Kolby died, that changed a lot for us. We’ve both lost people we love during the eight years we’ve been together, but losing Kolby was unlike the rest.
I’ve shared about how Justin fixed my hair for me as we were getting ready to go to the funeral home, because I couldn’t remember how– that’s one of those moments that will forever be in my heart. He’s definitely the strong one. We talk a lot more now- about the things that matter and about the things that don’t. He has been there for me so much this year- not just through losing Kolby, but also when I broke my leg and ankle.
I’ve spent a good part of this year angry. Angry at the loss of Kolby, angry that something as simple as going down a slide took my ability to walk for months- just angry. He let me be angry- even when I directed that anger at him. He didn’t judge me when I lashed out or try to make me see things differently. He has let me work through my grief and anger on my own, yet standing by my side. He has listened as I recounted my nightmares through tears, he’s reached over and held my hand when a song came on the radio that he knew would make me cry- he’s been the steady in my life.
Now that I’m coming out of the other side- I’m walking again, I’m not angry- I look back at this year and I’m more proud than ever to call Justin my husband. I’m more thankful than ever that he is my husband, my soul-mate. I’m more in love with him than ever.
There is something comforting about knowing that when I’m at my worst, he strives to be at his best just to hold me up, to keep our family moving forward. Even if it’s hard work. I will never doubt his love for me.