You caught me on a bad day. You see, I was all dressed and ready to go donate blood in memory of my cousin Kolby. He died April 12th from injuries sustained in a car accident. He was given 39 units of blood while doctors worked to save him. His sweet mama organized a blood drive (2 actually) with The Red Cross in his memory. He couldn’t be saved, but we can save lives because of him.
So, the day was already bittersweet for me.
And then, I saw my face pop up in my news feed on Facebook, shared on the brand page. Whether you know it or not, I’m not a “big” blogger and this was one of the biggest opportunities I’ve had come my way. I was thrilled for the exposure, but also nervous because I really don’t like being the center of attention.
And then, I started reading the comments. And there you were, the third comment talking about how fat I am. You didn’t stop there though, your attacks continued until you were eventually banned from the page.
And so, I started crying. I cried like I was back in high school and my best friend had just stolen my boyfriend. The “ugly” cry. My 3 year old thought I was crying over Kolby again.
Minutes later, something amazing happened. My notifications started blowing up because my friends from near and far, people I’ve met and some I haven’t, were coming to my rescue. They banded together and they lifted me up.
And I was okay.
Then, I started crying for you. You see, I know a secret that isn’t really a secret.
Hurt people hurt people.
Yes, I am certainly overweight but really, that wasn’t the issue at all. The issue has nothing to do with me and everything to do with you. Several people commented that I can lose weight, but you are ugly inside.
There’s the thing though- you aren’t ugly inside. You are hurt and I just happened to be the person you took your hurt out on yesterday. And it’s okay. I wanted to reach out to you through Facebook, but your settings are so that I can’t message you. So here I am and I hope you see this.
Years ago, I was that hurt girl. I’ve battled depression since I was 12, I was a cutter, I hated myself, I attempted suicide, I lashed out at others. Now I am a strong woman. A woman that lifts others up instead of tearing them down.
You can be that woman too.
I know that in coming to lift me up, some others put you down and I didn’t know how to handle that, but I just want you to know that I would never, ever intentionally hurt someone- even someone who hurt me.
I don’t know your hurt, but I do know that you can heal.
And I am willing to help you, if you want. My inbox is open or you can message me on Facebook.
You are beautiful, you really are, and I hope that you can see that.
To my friends, family, and readers- thank you for your support yesterday. It meant the world to me. With that said, please be kind on this post too. Let’s come together to lift this hurt soul up instead of tearing her down even more. Thank you for your understanding.