You caught me on a bad day. You see, I was all dressed and ready to go donate blood in memory of my cousin Kolby. He died April 12th from injuries sustained in a car accident. He was given 39 units of blood while doctors worked to save him. His sweet mama organized a blood drive (2 actually) with The Red Cross in his memory. He couldn’t be saved, but we can save lives because of him.
So, the day was already bittersweet for me.
And then, I saw my face pop up in my news feed on Facebook, shared on the brand page. Whether you know it or not, I’m not a “big” blogger and this was one of the biggest opportunities I’ve had come my way. I was thrilled for the exposure, but also nervous because I really don’t like being the center of attention.
And then, I started reading the comments. And there you were, the third comment talking about how fat I am. You didn’t stop there though, your attacks continued until you were eventually banned from the page.
And so, I started crying. I cried like I was back in high school and my best friend had just stolen my boyfriend. The “ugly” cry. My 3 year old thought I was crying over Kolby again.
Minutes later, something amazing happened. My notifications started blowing up because my friends from near and far, people I’ve met and some I haven’t, were coming to my rescue. They banded together and they lifted me up.
And I was okay.
Then, I started crying for you. You see, I know a secret that isn’t really a secret.
Hurt people hurt people.
Yes, I am certainly overweight but really, that wasn’t the issue at all. The issue has nothing to do with me and everything to do with you. Several people commented that I can lose weight, but you are ugly inside.
There’s the thing though- you aren’t ugly inside. You are hurt and I just happened to be the person you took your hurt out on yesterday. And it’s okay. I wanted to reach out to you through Facebook, but your settings are so that I can’t message you. So here I am and I hope you see this.
Years ago, I was that hurt girl. I’ve battled depression since I was 12, I was a cutter, I hated myself, I attempted suicide, I lashed out at others. Now I am a strong woman. A woman that lifts others up instead of tearing them down.
You can be that woman too.
I know that in coming to lift me up, some others put you down and I didn’t know how to handle that, but I just want you to know that I would never, ever intentionally hurt someone- even someone who hurt me.
I don’t know your hurt, but I do know that you can heal.
And I am willing to help you, if you want. My inbox is open or you can message me on Facebook.
You are beautiful, you really are, and I hope that you can see that.
To my friends, family, and readers- thank you for your support yesterday. It meant the world to me. With that said, please be kind on this post too. Let’s come together to lift this hurt soul up instead of tearing her down even more. Thank you for your understanding.
You are amazing! Exactly what i said she needs to overcome her issues. We all have or had them. We are All beautiful. You wrote thus beautifully! Hugs
Wow! You are truely an amazing woman! Your kindness, compassion and ability to lead by example is Waite admirable. You truly are an inspiration. Thank you for touching my life.
Whitney this is well said and I probably would have said and blogged the same thing! I think you and are a lot more alike than I thought. I was a hurt girl as well, although I didn’t cut nor attempt suicide (I watched my sister do all of that daily as a teen), but I battled with major social anxiety, being put down by my mother on a regular basis among other things. I wasn’t lifted up as a child, I always felt like I was not good enough. Being the best student at school EVER was never good enough. Helping with my little sister, chores and such – never good enough. I was broken and I came into my adult life very hurt. I made many mistakes due to being a hurt person but then one day two weeks before I turned 21, I had a baby girl (she was planned pregnancy) and she changed my life. Seeing that little life and knowing that she would grow up to look at everything I did changed me. I now thrive to help others and show people that you can heal if hurt and you can be fixed if broken. Our past is our past, we all need to come together to help one another not hurt each other. I love this post, but I must admit I am sitting here with tears in my eyes thinking about all of those hurt memories I have because even though I’ve grown they are still very raw memories that hurt my heart. I hope that this girl can find inner peace & love so that she can live a beautiful life just like we all are trying to do!
You are clearly an amazing and strong woman. It takes a lot to forgive and be the bigger person. That says much about your character. Big hugs!
Whitney – you have always been one of my favorite bloggers. I always enjoyed your friendship and admired you. This post made me love and admire you x100! Instead of joining in the bashing you reached out with love. That is NOT easy to do, it is selfless and I wish more people had this reaction. It really hurts me when people hurt bullies. I have personally seen bullies when they didn’t know I saw them. They were hurting. They hated themselves. And ever since I saw that I could never hurt someone that hurt me or my friends.
This post gives a healthy dose of perspective. And I love you my beautiful friend!!!
Whitney, I applaud everything about you. I haven’t met you in person YET (come on Brandcation!) but what I have learned about you by reading your posts and your Facebook, I am honored to be bunking with an AMAZING soul. I didn’t see all that this troll said to or about you, but frankly, I’m glad I missed her hatefulness. You are beautiful inside AND out. I can’t wait to hug you in real life soon! xoxo
I think you are the MOST courageous and beautiful soul–it is so easy to bully another person when you are doing it from behind a computer. This post , your response, your attitude- speaks volumes about who you are as a human being- and I feel better today just having read it- I only wish to internalize even an iota of your perspective and sense of self- it is beyond uplifting.
I am in awe. (((HUGS))) You’re such a wonderful woman and I don’t give a rats ass what you look like on the outside…you’re a loving and kind person and that’s all I will ever see – fat or thin – you are you.
Connie
You are lovely, all the way through. Thanks for this.
Badass website Whitney
I read the comments yesterday and couldn’t comment because I couldn’t think of anything to say that didn’t come across as hateful, and I didn’t want to be hateful, even to such an angry person. Whitney, you are beautiful, inside and out.
This is the message I share with my kids and that we should all share with one another. Thank you!
This was so well put. Kudos to you. ((HuGS))
Whitney, first, I want to offer my condolences for Kolby. ((hugs)) I pray that the Lord is with you during such a difficult time… comforts you, gives you peace & helps you heal.
On to the issue at hand… I am not sure of your relationship with the Lord, but I would encourage you to pray for that individual & I want remind you that you are Everything Beautiful cuz the Lord made you that way. I sincerely wish I could just reach out & hug you… my heart cries with yours regarding all of this. I pray that each day will be brighter & every joyous moment you spend with your babies magnified until there is no more room for darkness in your life. Remember to give all your cares to the Lord 1 Peter 5:6-7. You are an amazing woman, mother, wife, daughter & friend. <3 Don't let the enemy steal your Joy & Peace! You are a blessing, Whitney!! You have set such a wonderful example for your readers & your children by taking the higher road! I see it as Christ's Love. <3 Love, in Christ, Amber
This is absolutely fantastic.
Wow…what a beautiful, amazing person you are. So honest, well spoken, and from the heart. I can’t wait to meet you in October!
What a wonderful post! You are truly an amazing woman.
I think you are beautiful…..
Im so sorry for your loss. You are one classy lady.
Whitney, you made me cry. I am blown away at your compassion. You are so beautiful inside and out. Hugs to you. You are inspiring
Everything about this post and you is simply beautiful and the epitome of Grace.
Whitney, I am so sorry you had to deal with that person yesterday. I’m so impressed to see you rise above and be the better person I know you are. Much love to you!
I love that you own your words. They are spoken from your heart and you are reaching out. It’s classy. Keep on keepin’ on. You’ve got it!
I can only applaud you, Whitney. I have to admit, if I’d been faced with the same situation I wouldn’t have handled it as gracefully. Not only did you keep your class while being attacked, but you then reached out with compassion. That is the very definition of beauty.
Wow! I hope this will help a lot of people including the one who started it all. You did a great job.
And thats what I told her too …you know the one she “didnt read”.
Sad.
You are a good person…a great person. And beautiful, inside and out.
trisha
Hugs and love to you Whitney! You are a beautiful lady and a great mom and wife. We love you and your kind heart!
You are beautiful!!!! And more so because after you cried over the mean-o words, you cried for the person behind the mean-o words.
I am so sorry for your loss, you are wonderful for giving blood to help others.
Whitney I have watched you grow up through the years and I have been with you and your family through alot of the ups and downs. I just want to say that I love your post today and your blog but most of all I love the young lady that you have become. You are a great wife and mother and they say that everything happens for a reason. I guess all of the things you went through made you who you are today. Love you and your family:)
You are absolutely one of the most beautiful people I know just from reading the post, even if I didn’t already know from your photos that you are a beautiful person this would make me realize how amazing you are. Wonderful wonderful post.
You are just as beautiful on the inside as on the outside. I am so glad you were able to take the hate and understand its source and give back forgiveness and love. Praying the one who left the comments reads your words and reaches out, if not to you, to someone who can help.
You could build a house on the strength of the foundation of decency you laid out in your response to such cruelty.
Hurt people hurt people. This spoke loudly to me. I’ve never heard that phrase before although I have learned that repressed sadness typically manifests itself in fear, anxiety, anger, & disparaging words. The things we say about other people directly reflects how we feel about ourselves. Regardless, I’m sorry she lashed out on you. Thank you for leading by example. You are awesome. Like, super woman awesome. Not to mention beautiful, any way you look at it.
Touched to the bottom of my heart by your class and grace.
Kate
Amazing post and you are beautiful inside and out. ((Hugs))!!!
Best. Post. Ever. You rock!
Whitney you are totally & beautifully amazing! You are an inspiration to so many and you don’t even know it. Your whole family has touched my life in so many ways and I want you all to know I love you dearly. Thank you for being used by God and for just being wonderful you!
Ya know. You’re one of the most beautiful beings I’ve ever met.
And I haven’t even met you yet. =)
Thank you for your words.
You are so wonderful to recognize a hurt person instead of feeding into the hate. That person is very lucky to have found you, too. I feel like this could be the start of a healing process in a bunch of different ways for a bunch of different people. 🙂 Way to go, Beautiful Lady.
This was a beautiful post. I have always enjoyed your blog…find it often inspiring and full of hope and honesty. Brutally honest sometimes and today is no exception. You rarely hide your true emotions and thoughts to your readers once you decide to share. That is refreshing and courageous and I am sure difficult at times. Thank you for caring about others…even those you do not know. I would like to say I would have thought /felt the same after being targeted in a negative way. I am not so sure, but you put it in perspective for me and I appreciate that. A lot. You are wonderful through and through. I hope this person finds the will to reach out to you in a more positive light next time. BTW..I think you look great!
I’m not sure if we have ever met in person but I am so glad to have met you now. You are amazing and frankly, absolutely gorgeous. I can say that because of your picture on your blog in the upper right corner. The one that shows your beauty shining from within and from the outside too.
Whitney, you are gorgeous! I think they are jealous of your natural beauty.
Just wanted to say that you are an inspiration to us all. God bless you and I know that you will go far in life. It’s not he words in your heart that count but the HEART in your words.
You rock, Whitney. I don’t have anything else classy to say. 🙂
Whitney, you are beautiful inside and out.
Whitney, you are an amazing person! This post shows just that. BIG HUGS!!!
OMG! You freakin’ rock like a constellation…there are no words to describe the size of a constellation and no words to describe how awesome you are!
Sorry you went through this, but ironically kind of happy too. If you hadn’t I would never know how amazing a person you are Whitney. It takes a special soul to understand and reach out to a bully. You’re a beautiful person, not only on the outside but the inside too.
Just beautiful, in every way.
Whit, you are so beautiful outside and inside, this is such a wonderful post.
You have such a big heart. HUGGLES!
Such a beautiful way to embrace someone digitally. This person may not reach back to you, and that’s fine. You’ve reached thousands of other people.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Wow. Now you made ME cry because what you said is so beautiful. If all of us were able to think like that every day, the world would be a much better place.
you’re amazing Whitney <3
You could not be more right.
What a wonderful approach to online bullying.
You’re beautiful, lady!!
What an amazing post! I’ve never been to your blog before; a FB friend shared a link that brought me here. You are absolutely correct. Hurt people hurt people. That is so simple and so perfect. And yet, it is very hard to remember when you are being viciously attacked. Even harder to rise above your own hurt and offer grace. You have a beautiful soul.
I know you’re intention wasn’t to make a fat chick in FL cry, but you did. I love this post and I have to say you are a beautiful person inside and out. I am not. I am ugly inside, just like that jerk who said those cruel things to you. I would have ripped that person a new one. I only hope I can some day be as forgiving, kind and strong as you. HUGS and LOVE from your newest follower.
ugh, “your’ not “you’re” this blog doesn’t let you remove or edit comments. drat 😉
Amen, girl. I think you just got even more beautiful.
I’ve never been here before, I saw this on FB and then cried reading this wonderful post! You are like me (same background, same pain) now the same strength as a woman overcoming all you have. I have saying in my house with my kids that other moms use as well “We build each other, we don’t tear each other down” and I drill them with it. No matter what someone has done to you, loving them (the enemy) is your best defense and will keep you strong. Great job!
Sending you love and peace. You are beautiful (very beautiful) just the way you are. 🙂 And sending healing energies to that sad person.
I just found this on my Facebook feed. I clicked the link and decided you are amazing. Really, bravo. The world needs more people like you. And that person who hurt you should be a ashamed, but also consider themself lucky. Not many people can extend the offer to help someone after being hurt by them. This makes you a very special, lovely person. Inside and out 🙂
PRAISE GOD FOR YOU! I HAVE BEEN HURT,LIED ON AND TALKED ABOUT IN THE PAST, BUT NOW I HAVE JESUS! AND IT REALLY DOESNT MATTER WHAT OTHERS THINK, AS LONG AS I GOT GOD THATS ALL THAT MATTERS! AND REMEMBER, GOD DOESNT MAKE MISTAKES! AND HE MADE THAT OTHER GIRL TOO,SOMETHING HAS OBVIOUSLY HURT HER TOO! IM PRAYING FOR BOTH OF YOU! GOD BLESS!
You are an amazing inspiration – thank you for being truly a human and loving throughout this – even to the person who was so hurtful.
You are ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! Honestly, your poise and understanding is stunning. Your heart and soul is beautiful. Just beautiful.
God bless you, beautifully sweet soul of a woman! I dont’ think I need to tell you, you are right, but you are 🙂 I will pray for that shell of a soul that called you names. Hold your head high!!
I’m so sorry this happened. You are such a beautiful person inside and out and you just showed it by what you wrote. You used your adversity to inspire so many people today, to be better people. To take their pain and hurt and use it for good. You are one special lady!!!
WOW… love your post. It takes a strong woman to forgive and to offer a helping hand. I hope she finds this and reads your message. Even if she doesn’t, I am sure there are others who will “get the message” too. Congratulations on being a woman of power, of conviction and of integrity! The world needs more women like you! <3
What a powerful message of understanding. I have a 6 year old son who thankfully doesn’t get picked on and doesn’t pick on others but I would like to print this out, and share it with him when he is old enough to understand.
I read this from a friend’s friend on Facebook. I never thought about bullying from your point of view. I truly hope that this goes viral so that not only bullies see this but also the victims of bullies might read so that it might help them through their difficult time.
I also hope the person who made those comments to you reaches out to you so that you can help her work things out. You are truly an amazing woman for having the compassion and the forgiveness that you do. THANK YOU for teaching us all.
[…] a Comment This post is written in response to the support and kindness I received on my “Dear Person Who Called Me Fat in Front of 5 Million People” post. If you haven’t read that post, then this one will not make a lick of sense to […]
I have tears in *my* eyes!
This is beautiful, you are beautiful.
(And inspiring!)
This fat blogger thanks you
Someone once told me that people cannot hurt your feelings. We ALLOW them to. It is within our own power to look past the hate. I think this is the perfect example of that.
You are wise beyond your years and having compassion for someone whose aim is to tear you down is an amazing gift.
Wow. I feel so lucky to have found this post, through The Mom Pledge. She is absolutely right, this is outstanding, you are outstanding.
You respond with such grace and tenderness, embracing and living being enough. You focused in on the exact issue. Hurt people hurt people. In our truest and most pure souls, there is no way we could respond with such judgement.
I am humbled to bare witness to your willingness to be vulnerable, imperfect, and to embrace all parts of life. Thank you for your grace and dignity. I am inspired.
I’m sorry that happened but man how you turned things around. I’m seriously taking notes. You are one classy lady and judging from both your picture and your words you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside.
This is exactly what Christ meant when he said to “love your enemies, and pray for those who hurt you.” I don’t know what your relationship with Jesus is like, but you’re displaying the exact kind of forgiveness that he has shown us in his death and resurrection.
I found your post on facebook via a link from another blogger. Your kindness and grace is getting read about in a big way: it’s so encouraging to know that people really are drawn to this kind of action!!
Blessings to you, beautiful lady!
Beautiful words from a very beautiful person!
Thank you for being you! This is BEAUTIFUL!!!! May God bless you and continue to give you peace.
Whitney, this is beautiful and you are beautiful inside and out. I hope that the person who used words to hurt you because they are hurting inside will get the opportunity to read this and will do so with an open heart. Every one of us deserves to know that we are worth loving and I hope that is what she takes away from this experience if she is able to read this.
I also think that a lot of good will come from this as it has given the world an opportunity to see the real you.
Whitney…you are beautiful… inside and out…and I am sorry that comment hurt you (if even for a moment). Thanks for being the better person. God Bless you!
Girl you are beautiful inside and out. I love how you took something negative and made it positive.
God bless you.
I honestly have never read your blog before and I only read today because a friend posted your blog post on her Facebook wall and I decided to read it. I am so grateful that she did because you just helped me out in a way you would have never known. Today my son (he is only 9 but the age is no excuse) told his older sister that she needed to go on a diet. My daughter is 12 and has been battling self-image issues lately. My daughter cried, and cried, and cried. It turns out my son never intended to hurt her just that she was going to eat something he wanted to eat and so he thought if she thought she needed a diet he could eat it instead of her but when he noticed the hurt he gave his sister he cried for her too. He said I don’t really think you are fat I think you are beautiful, but the damage of his words had already pierced into her heart so now he is learning about how words most times hurt more than any action. I read him your blog post and again he apologized to his sister for hurting her so he is seeing that he really did wrong in hurting her. Thank you so much for this and I just want to say that right now I am thanking God for you because my daughter heard me read this out loud to my son and can see that just because someone hurts her feelings does not mean its about her but it could be about the person saying the hurtful words. Thank you 1 million times over for sharing this!
This is exactly what God has been showing me about so many people lately. We are all broken on the inside, to some extent. Some more than others. Some of us show it more than others. Some of us put up walls to hide it. But we are all broken and hurting, and some people lash out or cut or break the law or do any number of other things trying to fill the hole inside. But the only thing that can fill that hole is Jesus. You are so kind and compassionate to write this and show that person love. What a wonderful world this would be if everyone could respond so sweetly to an offense!
What a perfect example of the words in Matthew: “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you…” You are a beautiful woman and your response to the awful comments of an ignorant person is proof of your integrity and your heart. God bless you!
You did a great job responding to a truly ugly acting person.
*applause*
By the by you are beautiful…and blessed.
Another example of how beautiful you are, inside and out!! Thank you for sharing your heart!
Fat? That is crazy, you look amazing.
I appreciate the way you responded to such behavior..and you are exactly right..hurt people hurt people..and i too have been right there where you are and were and where the other person is. but going through lifes trials..and tribulations..we grow..we over-come..and in return we want to lift up those who may hurt like we used to. i did say like we USED TO! like you, i realized that i am more than a conquerer! it was through christ that i realized that i am loved, accepted, and really beautiful inside and out. we all are created in gods image..truly beautiful..and he doesn’t make junk!! nor does he make mistakes!!! i will pray for you and for this other person! im thankful for people such as yourself..you have no idea how many peoples lives you have influenced by responding in such a caring loving concerned way. god truly does turn things around for our good…and something the devil intended to use to break you down..you turned it around to encourage …AWESOME!! I LOVE YOU AND ALL YOU ARE!!! AWESOME WOMAN!!
You are so beautiful. And you’re right. People are so hurtful. They take their hates and pains out on people they feel deserve the pain, but you know as well as I do – we don’t. Because we’ve already torn ourselves down over and over again, on our own.
I was born with cleft lip – like the really severe ones you see on Operation Smile. The one’s where they have no lip, mouth, pallet or nose. I’ve endured 23 surgeries in my life and it’s still (even though people say I’m pretty) can’t believe it.
I know where you’ve been, and I know how it feels, but you know what…to hell with them. You are such an amazingly beautiful, strong, and from what I can see – generous person.
Thank you so much, for sharing your story. I’m sorry you had to experience that. It’s not even called for.
{{[[HUGS!!!!]]}}
~Barb
You are amazing!!!! And just in case you haven’t heard lately, you are beautiful, inside and out!! As for fat, sorry, I don’t see any!!!!
Sorry about the lose of your cousin. May memories help you through this difficult and help to keep his spirit alive.
You’re not fat. You’re an incredible human being
U are awesome!! I have 2 girls that I will have read this and ask them to make their own connection. As everyone on here does, I applaud you.
You are lovely! And what a beautiful soul. Such grace inspires me.
you are simply lovely. hugs to you my dear! hold your head high!
You are beautiful inside and out. Your post is gorgeous and will live on in my heart as one of the finest, most moving gifts of writing to all of us. You raise us all up, my dear.
I said it on the Facebook post, and I’ll say it again — YOU are beautiful! Inside and out, the beauty shines and this post only goes to prove it even more. I don’t know you, but I can feel the beauty radiating from you through your words, I wish we could all think and act like this – building people up instead of tearing them down.
If women could only stand together, work together and help instead of hurting each other this world would be a much, much better place. We are the life force of the human race!
Love this post. You are beautiful by the way!
Thank you for your inherited right to respond publicly and loudly to people who think their mean, ignorant, diluted comments will remain on little walls for those only included in the conversation to see. It is just like the quiet, selective abusive parent, only hurting in the privacy of the peaceful family setting and maintaining the norm around others. Would someone like that say that to your face, I doubt not. Our magic screens make us so powerful, don’t they? Power enough for shame? Totally powerful enough for a loud voice. Props to you and yours!
A couple of things: First of all, what on EARTH would compel someone to say anything nasty about anyone for no good reason?? I honestly do not get that! Second of all: if you look like that after you’ve been crying and without makeup, I can’t imagine how gorgeous you are when you haven’t been! I’m not saying that to make you feel better, you really are beautiful!
If I was in your shoes and that happened to me I too would be very upset and crying. OMG that’s just UNCALLED for! And not true! But completely hurtful nonetheless… I’m sending you a great big silly internet hug and hoping my post helps at least a little bit – life is hard enough sometimes (and from what I read about your family’s loss, it’s been hard for you recently). Please take the good things people have said about you and focus more on them than the rotten things people said. The people who said rotten things obviously are the kind of people who do it to anyone they can, probably on a daily basis, and do so to make themselves somehow feel superior. My heart breaks that this happened to you. Ignoring nasty criticism is so hard to do, but I think it’s safe to say that though it feels like it, I doubt it was personal – it was just an outlet for nasty people to get another dig in on someone. Ugh!
Take care, you really are so darn pretty!
Whitney,
You are such an inspiration to all of us. I could not have handled that situation better myself. You are beautiful inside and out and I am so glad to see that you don’t let others hurtful comments change the person you are. Thank you for sharing this with us!
Brittanie
Very well put. If only everyone could be so forgiving and compassionate! Kudos to you for your attitude and your very well written post (which I will now be sharing with my friends on fb)!
What an amazing perspective you chose in the midst of what others would have considered nothing more than callous and mean. You truly have a heart of gold, and others can learn by your example. Wish everyone were like you, this would be a much more beautiful place!
Beautifully written, your comments made me cry. I came across your blog because someone posted it on facebook and it showed up in my newsfeed. Thank you, I’m so glad I read it.
Wow…how big of you to bare your soul, and even bigger to offer forgiveness and help over hatred. I feel like if I stood near you, your beauty would be contagious. Don’t ever doubt for one minute how beautiful you are, inside AND out. You are one gorgeous lady and your inner beauty cannot be contained. May it continue to flow forth. We must counter-example all who exhibit hatred, jealousy, and bullying.
What a beautiful soul you are! Thank you for sharing your forgiveness.
I would love to think that I could have been as gracious and love-filled as you are. What a fantastic role model you are for me—as a mom, a blogger, a woman, and a friend. I hope that if I am ever confronted with a similar situation that your words will echo in my heart and I will be strong enough to follow your lead.
YOU, my sweet lady, are an amazing spirit. Thank you for being so forthright and honest. I know you have helped me to see others that behave in such ways in a different light and I hope it’s done the same for others. God bless your strength.
Whitney, you are beautiful in all ways and the way you turned this negative experience into a positive it inspiring. I KNOW that many lives will be touched by you putting this out there and making people see things in a different light. God will bless you abundantly for your humility and ability to not only forgive but to extend a hand to the one that hurt you.
Beautifully written!! I want to thank you.
You are a very special person! Thank you for setting a FABULOUS example!
I think you are amazing and you have handled yourself with the utmost integrity. I can’t help but think what this world might be if there were more like you. Just maybe………….
I have shared your post on my page and surely you will make an impact on many. I applaud you.
Very well said. I hope this will make someone think before they spew hatred at another person. You are a strong, beautiful women and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!!
An amazing level of maturity for one who appears to be so young. Pat yourself on the back. It always makes me chuckle when people post/comment on my weight. “Fat cow…blah, blah, blah..” Do they think I don’t know? Am I supposed to act surprised? “OMG, I AM fat! Wow, thanks for telling me so I can fix that right away!” Trust me, I know…
I read about you via The Coupon Project… I am so impressed with your strength and clarity, with a willingness to forgive and help. I was decimated by comments like those my entire life, and every time it took away a bit of my soul. Then I felt like I sold what was left of it by trying to “buy” the love, friendship and what I took as understanding of those whom I wanted in my life. After 59 years, I’ve still not come anywhere close to your level of self-awareness and confidence. Bless you for being a singular voice which speaks for millions of us, no matter what the pain… it comes down to understanding that it takes a toll in shards and slivers resulting in shrapnel to hurt anyone at random. You are a gift and an incredible example for your children… and us.
So precious. You truly took the high road. God Bless You!!!
You have figured out what real freedom is all about, forgiveness. The worst saying ever taught to children is; “sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me.” That is one of the biggest lies. You are right, hurt people hurt people, however, hopefully forgiven people will forgive people as well. I pray the “taunter” learns when you scream anger and hatred that loudly, it is you that has been put in a prison of bitterness. Be free, ask forgiveness and forgive, that is the key that unlocks the door to the soul.
Bless you beautiful lady.
Absolutely beautiful. I pray that I can be as gracious and forgiving as you. I also pray for the other person who is hurting. Thank you for this post. I think we all needed it.
This post just confirms that you are an amazing person!! I’m sorry that you had to deal with something so crazy. People can be so rude, but your response is very classy.
This is beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes. I was the hurt girl at some point in my life. Thank you for talking about all sides to this.
Whitney,
I had not read any of your blog previously, but linked to this from someone’s page on Facebook. I want you to know how much I admire and respect you for being the “bigger” person here. I too have battled weight and other “issues”, and it can be really difficult to overcome. But you have done it! You are an amazing example for your child, friends, and family. You should be proud of yourself! I am and I don’t even know you. But I will now (as much as one can through an internet forum), as you’ve piqued my interest and I have subscribed to your blog.
Raise your chin up and keep on going!
On a different note, I am sorry for your family’s loss.
<3<3<3
Wow Girl! I give you kuddos for your kindness in the face of a bully. Totally agree a bully isn’t just a bully. A bully has a deep seeded reason in their heart for why they wanna tear someone down. It made me cry for many different reasons but mainly: for you being hurt b/c I am overweight myself and been trying so hard to lose weight and have been hurt so many times by people and for your kindness to wanna reach out to the person that hurt you. If more people in the world were like you we would have a better world. Bunches of Hugs and God bless!! Just so you know you now have a new reader and a new a weight loss buddy if you want it. Michelle Jetton
Loved reading this! You are an awesome example of what every human should be and how we should all treat one another. No one likes to be judged yet we have all been guilty of it. I just started blogging and realize not everyone will enjoy reading it but it doesn’t mean I want them out there telling me and the world their negative thoughts. Your positive and forgiving attitude inspires me and I’ll think of you if something like this ever happens to me with any of my posts or blogs.
Whitney- I’m fat. I’m not just overweight, I’m fat. I’ve been sitting in a wheelchair for the past 10 months after 3 surgeries on my left leg resulting in an amputation. And nothing hurts my feelings more than having my family members point out that I’ve put on a lot of weight.
Reading this reminds me that people say stuff like that because something’s not right in their lives, and it really isn’t me. You’re inspiring, and BEAUTIFUL, and I’m glad I found this message today!
Because today, I get to put on my prosthesis & start my exercise routine. I get to stand tall again.
Go, girl. Preach it! Many hugs from me to you!
Misty…you are every woman..it’s all in you!! Can you hear that song in your head now?? Repeat it over and over to yourself because no matter what life deals you, You’ve always got the upper hand! Go girl!!
Hey Misty,
I just wanted to thank you for your comment and I wanted to let you know that I have thought about you almost every day since this comment. I am now the girl in the wheelchair too- I broke my leg & ankle back in July and I have no idea when I’ll walk again. When I start to beat myself up over all the things I can’t do or the weight I know I’m gaining sitting in this wheelchair, I think of YOU and I pick myself up. I hope that everything is going well with your prosthesis and that you are recovering well!
((HUGS)) Thanks again for taking the time to comment and share your story. You have really helped me.
This was absolutely beautiful. You are so right when you say hurt people hurt people. It was a nice reminder that we all have the power to either hurt or heal someone with our words. I truly hope the person who hurt you reads this and feels forgiven.
Spoken from the Heart, kudos to you.
You have a light inside you. Thank you for sharing your light. And giving to those who need it.
You are an amazing writer. It was a touching message bravely done.
You give me hope on a day that feels kinda hopeless. God Bless
You are beautiful- and your personality and class makes you even more attractive. If I was 12 years younger- I’d date you in a heartbeat. You’re an amazing woman. Best of luck in life!
I’ve always been a silent reader, but ever since I found your blog I thought you were the most beautiful woman. Coming from a teenager who as been picked on and bullied for the way that she looks I just want to say I’m sorry. You don’t deserve it. No one does. Yet your forgiveness and merciful spirit is such a breath of fresh air. We could all take a lesson from you. ((huge hugs))
You are AMAZING! I wish I was as brave as you!
You are so fantastic. You 100% understand forgiveness and where the other person is coming from.
I would also like to thank you for being someone in an ocean of bloggers who is a real person who expresses real emotions. There are so many people whose biggest problems are a crafting or baking mistake. For me, blogs are about being real not showing a mask of perfection. Thank you.
You are so much stronger and such a better person than a lot of others out there for not only not lashing out this person but offering your help. People hide behind the protection of the internet and fail to think about the person on the other side of the screen. I hope this person reflects on what they’ve done and stops their bullying and hating others (and their self).
You, my friend, are AWESOME. Wouldn’t the world be such a better place if everyone who is hurt by uncalled-for negativity handled it in the way you have here. God bless. (And you’re honestly outwardly beautiful, as well, so the mean comment was kind of ironic.)
Hi Whitney.
The greatest characteristic trait of Jesus is His forgiveness. Even on the cross He asked God to forgive the people. You have shown that same forgiveness and for that I applaud you. You are truly a beautiful person and your heart makes you even more so. May God bless you in every way possible. Please accept my condolences for Kolby.
Sad how people can be so mean, but you’re right. Some people are addicted to cutting down others so that they can feel better about themselves. It’s sad all around, but glad you were able to turn this into a positive for others. Reaching out is the best thing you can do and your courage to take this online is fantastic to see.
You are inspirational, to push that hurt aside to consider why that person lashed out takes compassion and self control, somethings the planet needs more of these days.
Well done to you and all the best for your future enterprises.
[…] Whitney from It’s Gravy Baby worked on a campaign for a brand where a commenter repeatedly attacked her, enough so that her feelings were hurt and she cried about it. She ended up writing one of her most popular posts called, “Dear Person Who Called Me Fat in Front of 5 Million People”. […]
We could all benefit from reading your beautiful words in this post every single day. I’m sorry for your loss and I know the pain of both being overweight and of being called hateful things because I am overweight. As you said, that is not the issue at all. Thank you for having the courage and grace to write this.
What a beautiful post. I saw your comments on Social Fabric and had to read this. You truly are a lovely person inside and out.
You are beautiful. Don’t let anyone put you down and affect your attitude! You go girl!
Today guy in my class called me fat and no one said a word to him or me… Thanks for kind words you inspired me? oh and i’m 13:(
[…] in Memory of Kolby June 20, 2012 By Whitney 18 Comments I touched on this a bit in the “Dear Person“ post, but I wanted to elaborate more. Since I usually share photos on Wednesdays, I […]
[…] had a s’mores party. The first blood drive was held in memory of Kolby; the same day that I was called fat in front of 5 million people. I struggled to accept that Kolby was really gone in a post titled Eight Weeks. It felt like a […]
Unfortunately the internet seems to give people that have no life and no clue a forum to just be mean to other people in ways that they are too cowardly to exhibit in person.
I’m not trying to put a good situation down. Or what was made into a good situation. Honestly, you have more healing to do too. If you allow people that are complete strangers to you, to hurt you with the words that they say, you need to examine your own self-esteem and self-worth. Someone can’t MAKE you FEEL, your feelings are your own and granted sometimes feelings can feel uncontrolable, if you believe that you are a beautiful person, nobody’s comments will convince you otherwise.
…I’ve just read all of these beautiful posts…You sound like special people don’t ever let any one take that away…I am very sorry for your loss Whitney….God Bless.
Thank you, Colleen. I appreciate that you took the time to read through those posts. It means a lot to me!