Personal Thoughts

My heart is so full and yet it aches.

Last night, we went over to a friend’s house.  I was in a chipper mood.  I had decided to be in a great mood, to go along with the flow.  Justin & I are the only ones from our circle of friends that are married and with a family.  Sometimes, I think that changes a person more than I realized.  Maybe not.  I have always had a tender heart, but things hit a different way after you have a child.  I have always been a compassionate person, but now, my heart breaks in two over things.  I have to work to keep my emotions in check almost all of the time.

Something was said about Haiti last night.  No, I do not know anyone over there.  Does that make a difference?  Absolutely not.  There are mothers who have lost their sweet children, children with no one, entire families gone.  As a mother, I cannot imagine the pain they must be in.  I can’t comprehend it, but my heart literally aches.  I hit my knees and I thank God for what I have and I sob for all that they have lost.

I  have heard more than once “Why should we help them?  They never helped us.  We have people here who need our help!!”  I have many questions when it comes to the mindset of those that would ask such things as that.  More than anything though, I pray for them.

If we all lived by “I refuse to help them, because they never helped me!”  Where would that leave us?  In line with the people of Haiti, that is like saying “I refuse to help the homeless, because they never offered me a room to stay in.”  No, they did not offer you a room.  They don’t have a room!  Remember, uh.. homeless?  If you truly expect the people of Haiti, living on so little, living in poverty, to help you, then I say that YOU,  my friend need help.

To the statement that “We have people here who need help!”  You know, it is possible to help the people of the United States and people of other countries.  I do not understand that “US vs. THEM” attitude.  We are all HUMAN BEINGS.  They are no less a human being because they live in such deep poverty.  I can help them and I can help people here at home!

Last night, when a remark was made like that, I was shocked.  Yes, I have read it all over the Internet, but I never thought I would hear such garbage from someone in my own circle of friends.  I am ashamed to admit that I said nothing.  I could not put my words together, my mind raced, my heart ached.  My heart ached for the people of Haiti, because if everyone thought the same as my friend, they would receive no help.  My heart ached for my friend, because that is an attitude full of greed and with little, if any, compassion.

For the ones that say we should help our “own” before helping the people of Haiti; I ask this simple question:  “What have you done to help the people of the United States recently?”  Is it that you truly believe that, or is that you are too greedy to not only open your heart, but your pocketbook also?  Can you honestly say that you are being a good steward of God’s money?

So, the next time you tell me you have nothing to give- just stop.  Think about your closet that is overflowing with clothes, think about your biweekly shopping trips, think about the last time you ate out, think about the last time you bought something completely unnecessary.

I am not perfect.  I am not a saint.  I am a sinner and I do not give as much as I should.  I am trying.  Trying to open my heart more, open my wallet more, and be a better person.  Lord knows, I am trying.

It was 2AM last night when I finally broke down.  I started crying lying there thinking about the devastation and how my little boy was tucked into his bed.  His little belly was full and his body was nice and warm.  There are no many people that cannot say that- not just in Haiti.  But me?  I am so blessed.  There are no words to explain how blessed I have been and continue to be.  I ended up beside the bed and on my knees.  I was so overcome with gratitude and with sadness.

I know some truly cannot give and if that is your case- I ask that you pray.  I ask that you pray for the people of the United States, the people of Haiti, the volunteers, the doctors.  I ask that you pray for my friend.  I ask that you pray for me.


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