Domestic violence is a cause that is close to my heart.  The words "domestic violence" never entered my mind until my cousin, Monica Payne was murdered by her boyfriend, Jeremy Grissom. I feel like I owe you all an update regarding the sentencing for Jeremy Grissom, the man who murdered Monica.  This isn't the post I thought I would be writing though. I posted back in April to give you all an update when Jeremy entered into a "blind" guilty plea, meaning he would forgo a trial with no deal on the table.  He admitted his guilt and would have to face sentencing from a judge.  He was sentenced last week. You see, I thought that he would receive the maximum sentence possible for her murder and abuse of her corpse.  I thought ANY judge would look at the facts, at what he did, not only the way he beat her, but the actions he took afterwards to clean up, move her things, and put her in a bag like a piece of trash- I thought any judge would look at that and say "This deserves the … [Read more...]

Closure. How many times have you heard that word after a criminal trial is finished? Closure. A word- that's really all it is. When it comes to someone you love being murdered, there is no closure. I learned that yesterday when news broke that Monica's murderer, Jeremy Grissom pleaded guilty to murder and abuse of a corpse. A sense of relief washed over me as I realized a trial had been avoided.  The trial was set to start today April 4, 2012, almost two years after we lost Monica.  Over the past few weeks I've prayed fiercely that he would  plead guilty and spare her family the agony of a trial.  He has put them through enough already. To say I'm happy that he pleaded guilty sounds crazy- there is nothing happy about it.  That's why I say I feel a sense of relief.  I first saw the news on Facebook (where else?) and I literally screamed out loud and all I could say to my husband was "He pleaded guilty!"  I didn't have to say anything else because he knew exactly … [Read more...]

I am sitting here stunned and I'm not sure that I'll be able to make the words flow for this post. Shocked.  Angered.  Disappointed. Disgusted. I have an entire line of expletives just waiting to rush out of my mouth and onto the screen, but this is a family friendly site. I didn't watch the Grammys last night.  I have no idea who performed, who won what, etc. But, I came across an article titled "25 Extremely Upsetting Reactions to Chris Brown at the Grammys" and well, my curiosity got the best of me. I really, REALLY wish it hadn't.  I wish I wouldn't have clicked that headline. If you don't want to go read it, let me just sum it up for you: 25 different females invited Chris Brown to come beat them. Any time.  Any day.  All night. Oh yes, they did. Apparently, if you are a good looking superstar, that makes domestic violence not only okay, but welcomed. Did they not see the photos of Rihanna after her severely beat her? Not all women get … [Read more...]

As promised, here is the second installment for the Brave Woman campaign.  You can view my first post and learn about why I'm fighting to stop domestic violence. She would have turned 30 on Christmas Eve.  As I celebrated with my family, I thought of her mom and how I'm sure her heart was aching, how her heart was breaking, how it is shattered.  I should have picked up the phone and told her that I was thinking of her, but I never know what to say.  I'm no good with words, which is part of the reason I blog.  I can type all day, my words flow on paper and on the screen, but I cannot string my words together aloud. What I can do?  I can and will do a lot.  I will do for it for Monica, for her sweet mama, and for all who miss her.  We will do this together. What YOU Can Do Take the pledge and make a stand for human dignity and safety for women and children. Become an advocate.  This is so, so important.  Contact your legislators, review the laws in your state, … [Read more...]

I haven't even started this post and my eyes are filling with tears.  I've spent the evening stressed to the max,  moaning about my life and the responsibilities that come with raising a family.  The dishes need washed, little boy puked all over his bedding, then he pooped all over the next set of bedding, baby girl is teething, I can't get five minutes to myself, I can't even pee alone.  I have posts due.  This post.  Then, it hits me.  I have a post to write tonight, a post I'm writing in honor of a beautiful woman who never got the chance to have a family. How petty can I really be? Now the tears are really rolling down my face. Two years ago, I wouldn't have been able to write this post.  At that time, I lived in my little bubble where domestic violence was just something I saw in movies or heard about on the news every once in a while.  It certainly had no impact on my life.  It took the loss of my 28 year old cousin, Monica, to open my eyes.  It still cuts … [Read more...]

Today marks one year since I got that awful text message.  The past couple days have been hard for me.  Honestly, a lot harder than I expected.  Every time I tried to relax, my thoughts drifted to you.  We weren't close.. I hadn’t saw you in a couple years, but I grew up with you.  I played baseball in the backyard with you.  I watched you get ready for prom.  I watched you wash your face before school every morning.  Those are my memories and they are all I have. One year later and I still don’t know what to say or think.  It is still so hard to believe that you are gone.  Not even so much that you are gone, but that you were taken away from us.  The biggest struggle for me hasn’t changed- it’s the question of what happened, what your last moments were like, the horror that I know you endured.  I don’t want to know, but I can’t help but see the images in my mind.  No one deserves that.  No one.  My anger has lessened a bit over the past year- it’s part … [Read more...]

I think everyone knows that October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, but did you know it is also Domestic Violence Awareness month?  Unfortunately, I have been effected by both, but this year I plan to focus more on domestic violence. Some of you may remember that back in May, our family suffered an unexpected and devastating loss.  Monica, my beautiful 28 year old cousin, was murdered by her boyfriend.  I think of her almost every single day.  My mind is filled with the images of what her last moments were probably like and I can’t make them go away. A few weeks ago while watching Dr. Phil, I noticed that he has launched a new campaign.  His mission is to “End the Silence on Domestic Violence” and I could not be happier to see someone with his fame helping spread the word. I mentioned in my post after Monica died that I wouldn’t let her death be in vain.  I would find ways to help, things I could do, and so I have a few of them to share with y’all today.  I … [Read more...]

On Saturday, May 15, 2010, a 911 call was made concerning a domestic dispute.  When officers arrived on the scene, a man and woman answered the door and said that everything was fine.  The events that occurred four days later would prove that everything was in fact, far from okay. On Wednesday, May 19, 2010, a father went to visit his son, as I am sure he had many other times.  This visit would change both the father and the son’s lives along with countless others forever.  This father would be forced to have the courage to love his son enough to do what was right- if there is such a thing in this type of situation.  Another 911 call was made, but this time, the domestic dispute was more than over- it was a homicide.  A father called 911 to report that his son had murdered his own girlfriend.  Not only had he beaten her with a crowbar and his bare fists, he had wrapped her in plastic and duct tape and shoved her body into a duffel bag.  If it had not been for this father, … [Read more...]