As I fed Brynlee a bottle just moments ago, I thought about how the little things are really the big things. I stood over her crib as the rest of her feed went in through her tube and I talked to her about the little big things- the daily happenings that are cause for celebration and song. I sing to her all the time and I’ll be sad when she one day realizes that her mommy really can’t sing that well. For now though, she likes my songs which are mostly made up or remakes from Doc McStuffins.
some of the little big things I’m celebrating:
Giving Brynlee a bottle- 15ml, only half an ounce, but this is a really big thing! She didn’t spit it out or choke. Suck, swallow, breathe. Suck, swallow, breathe. She drank and cried for more. She paced herself. She drank until she tired out after 15ml, but that is the most she has taken orally since her surgery in December.
A couple days later (it takes that long to write a small post these days), she’s up to over an ounce.
A great latch.
Big, gummy smiles.
A random little squeak during a yawn.
Watching her sleep in her room, in her bed, at home. Something we didn’t get to do until her twenty-first day of life.
A face free of tubes and tape.
Swaddling success. (Justin is a better swaddler than I am.)
My first trach change. Finally.
That strong and perfect cry three weeks ago.
Feedings free of spits. Hallelujah.
Each ounce gained.
Stretching out on the changing table.
Tears of joy over a bottle. Something I took for granted with Bryson and Bella.
Because she is teaching me to smile even when I want to scream.
She has smiled through it all.
Gratitude is the only attitude that will get me through.
She makes this life more beautiful.
More joyful. I can’t help but smile when I look at her.
Less taken for granted.
The little things are the big things.