Closure is just a word.

Closure.

How many times have you heard that word after a criminal trial is finished?

Closure.

A word- that’s really all it is.

When it comes to someone you love being murdered, there is no closure.

I learned that yesterday when news broke that Monica’s murderer, Jeremy Grissom pleaded guilty to murder and abuse of a corpse.

A sense of relief washed over me as I realized a trial had been avoided.  The trial was set to start today April 4, 2012, almost two years after we lost Monica.  Over the past few weeks I’ve prayed fiercely that he would  plead guilty and spare her family the agony of a trial.  He has put them through enough already.

To say I’m happy that he pleaded guilty sounds crazy- there is nothing happy about it.  That’s why I say I feel a sense of relief.  I first saw the news on Facebook (where else?) and I literally screamed out loud and all I could say to my husband was “He pleaded guilty!”  I didn’t have to say anything else because he knew exactly who I was talking about.  The upcoming trial has consumed my thoughts and conversations the past few weeks.   I covered my face with  my hands and cried- tears of sorrow and loss.  Oddly enough, tears of thankfulness for this answered prayer.  A prayer I wish I would have never been forced to pray at all.

I don’t have room in my heart for hatred or anger- it’s taken me a long road to get here though.  Hate and anger- both pure evil monsters- are the two things that put us in this terrible situation.  I won’t let them consume me.  Jeremy Grissom will be sentenced on June 11 and after that, I am completely finished with him.  His face and his empty eyes have haunted me long enough.  I hope he gets the maximum sentence and never has a life outside of prison walls, but to continue to let him haunt me would not be fair to Monica.  This is not about him- it’s about her.

My focus is on her and helping others who are victims of domestic violence.

25% of women are victims of domestic violence.

One in four.

Yet no one is talking about it.

I’ve added a new graphic over on the sidebar.  It’s a permanent part of my blog.  While I hope none of you ever need that number, the statistics tell me that one of you will.  If it isn’t you, it’s someone you know.

I’m still figuring out where to go with this.  I have a passion now and I know somewhere down the road I can turn this into something bigger.  I can feel it in my heart that we are going to turn this hurt into help for other women.

Will you please join me in continuing to pray for her family?

 

 

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Comments

  1. glad that you and the rest of the family don’t have to endure the additional pains of a trial. I have often wondered about the people on tv who talk about justice for their loved ones and how much relief that really brings. Thankfully this isn’t something I have experienced and I am so sorry you have. I KNOW when you figure out where you want to go next with this it will be great. But I also know the power of simply blogging, and be open about this like this. I know Monica would be proud of you!!!

  2. Charity L. says:

    I hope you and your family continue to heal from this horrible heartbreak. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Listen to your heart and you will know where you want to go from here. I appreciate you putting up the imformation on your blog for women who might need to reach out for help.

  3. Christy @ Insanity Is Not An Option says:

    Whitney – I am so incredibly sorry for your loss and yes, I will pray for you and for Monica’s family. She would be proud that you are on this mission and have not allowed her to die in vein. You are a strong woman and I love that you are turning your hurt into positive action! And closure is just a word! Much love to you and yours!

  4. To say I’m “glad” to read this would sound rather inappropriate, but I am glad I saw this in the Brave Woman group. I started blogging about domestic violence awareness about six months ago. My mother was a victim most of my childhood and it is important to me for people to start talking about it. As you said, nobody is talking about it, yet it happens all the time.

    I am so sorry for your loss, I can’t even imagine going through such a thing. Please keep me in mind for any work you may do with domestic violence awareness. I have big ideas in mind for where I’d like to go with this, and I’d be more than open to collaboration if you’re ever interested. Having been personally affected by domestic violence, I chose to use my voice as a blogger to help bring awareness and to hopefully help someone someday.

  5. I’m glad you no longer have to worry about the agony of a trial. As a victim of domestic violence, every time I read some thing here about Monica, I am so glad that I had the courage to walk away after the first physical altercation and glad that he wasn’t successful in really hurting me further or killing me. I made the mistake of not pressing charges and it’s something I regret every day.. why? He married.. has 2 children.. and is now in the process of divorce for domestic violence. I really wonder what would have happened had charges been pressed, this wouldn’t be his “first” offense and I am pretty sure that his wife isn’t the second victim. It’s sad. I don’t understand why ANYONE would want to hurt another human being. Monica is a very beautiful woman. So sad that her life was cut short. I agree.. the word closure is entirely JUST a WORD.

  6. I am so glad that your family can find some relief at the end of all of this and I truly hope he never feels grass under his feet again. I hope he never sees the sun shining outside of the prison courtyard. I hope that he wallows in his guilt and I hope that, after all is said and done, your family can finally be free of this terrible burden. I will share the graphic as well.

Trackbacks

  1. [...] posted back in April to give you all an update when Jeremy entered into a “blind” guilty plea, meaning he would forgo a trial with no deal on the table.  He admitted his guilt and would have [...]

  2. [...] got off to a good start as we learned that Monica’s killer entered into a guilty plea.  It was relief to know that a trial had been avoided.  We had a wonderful Easter surrounded by [...]

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