Family Happenings



Such a crazy word.  It brings on so many emotions.

It means that while today my husband should be celebrating his 23rd birthday, he is instead dealing with the fact that his dad is going to prison.

It means that the next time our son asks to see his “Pop Doney” we will have to break his heart and tell him no.

It means that the next time my kids see their Pop, they probably won’t remember him.

It means that the next time I see him, there will be a piece of glass between us.

It means taking a grown man in and trying to raise him for a year, helping him get back on his feet.  Then, pushing him back out into the world and praying he learns to say “no.”

It means feeling like someone slapped you across the face and punched you in the gut when less than a year later, that grown man turned right back to dope.

It is wondering why his son, his kids, and his grandchildren aren’t enough to stay sober.

It means learning to say goodbye knowing the next time you see him, he could be in a casket.

It means an overweight man one day, then the next time you see him, his clothes are hanging off his body.

It means broken TVs and radios, because he could hear the voices through them.

To someone, like myself, who isn’t an addict, it means trying understand but failing.

It means crying myself to sleep and waking up in tears.

It means wondering if he can or will survive prison and how long he will be there.

It means never giving up hope, but knowing when to let go.

It means heartache.  It means hurt.  It means anger.

It means a boy grew up without a decent father figure.  It made that boy into one heck of a man though.  A man that I’m proud to call my husband, a man that would move Heaven and Earth for his family- even for the man that chose drugs over him.



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  • >Wow, this had to be a very difficult post to write


    I grew up with two addicted parents and your words ring so true to my heart. I pray for your family as they have to go through this, and thank God that your husband has not allowed his past to become his future!!

  • >I know the feeling Whitney. My dad has been out of prison and sober a little over a year. It is a very long and hard road. Just remember that he will need y'all to support him now more than ever.

  • >Sadly I understand all too well the thoughts and feelings that your husband has. My Mom was a severe alcoholic and drug addict for the majority of my life. As a child I remember thinking that if I just did _________, it would all be better. It took many years to realize that no matter what I filled that blank with, until SHE was ready it wouldn't happen. For nearly 20 years she abused alcohol and drugs. The childhoods of both my brothers and I passed without a second thought from her. We grew up, we started our own families. Constant commitments to get clean is all we ever heard, but there wasn't any real actions. By the time I was pregnant with my 4th child, we were no longer speaking. I had given up all hope that I would ever have a mother. My grandmother had given up hope that she would ever get her daughter back. Our entire family let go. We didn't see or hear from her for nearly 6 mths. One day she showed up at my Grandma's house sober. It was amazing. She is now half way through her 4th year of being completely sober. Clean from alcohol and drugs. Clean because SHE was ready. Amazingly she now runs a Women's Recovery home, and helps other women get back on their feet and past their own struggles with addiction. Don't give up. Be angry. Be pissed! Be firm with where you stand. If you say no more money will be given, stand to it. Not even a dollar. If you say he can stay only one night a week, stand to it. Find him a local NA program and give him the meeting times when it's close to his parole date. Talk to his parole agent about a recovery program. Help him understand that you are going to be there to support his positive changes in life, but will not tolerate his addictions. Stay strong, it's hard. It's so very hard. Take every day one day at a time. He'll get stronger as time passes, but he will never be fully recovered. It's a process that doesn't end. I know men that have 16 years clean and go back out. It's a struggle that only he can deal with. Good luck! {{hugs}}
    (sorry this is so long :/ )

  • >This had to be so tough to write. Good for you for putting it out there. You never know who it might help. I hope things get better quickly.

  • >Thank you for putting this out there, I can only imagine how hard this was for you. Sending big hugs your way.

  • >It means I lost my closest and longest best friend in the world.

    I completely understand the hurt, pain, and complete anger addiction causes to the outside members of its grasp. I firmly believe their is a point friend or family you are allowed to turn around and walk away. In my case she was only pulling my family down with hers.

  • >This was one of those posts that really gets you. I am sorry to hear about the pain that your family is going through. You are blessed with a great family and you will get through this together.

  • >I can't imagine what any of that feels like, I hope I never have to. As angry as it makes me for you, your husband and children, I have to wonder about the hurt deep inside their grandpa to choose drugs over his family.

  • >Wow. Very moving post. I ache for your family, and respect how hard you are working to support them in this trial. is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to